January 10th, 2017

The reason I don’t post every day is… (1) it’s a bit of work and I’m lazy,  (2) each post takes time to think it through and (3) believe what you will,  being retired doesn’t mean I have plenty of spare time.  Life does have its demands

A friend on Facebook brought up “Is Trump a bully?” 

First I’d like to say that being a bully is a personality trait. A part of Trump’s existence.  Why or where or whether good or bad isn’t what I’m going to blog about.

Depending on your political viewpoint the last 8 years have been either good times or a time where life became a swamp,  an unpleasant drudge of increasing burdens.

Notice I didn’t say which one it was? 

Because: the topic of this post will be about what type of leadership is needed to make changes from where we are now.

A President’s personality can definitely effect how successful they are at accomplishing goals.

Reagan was a delegator.  He would decide what needed done and assign someone the job,  like Ollie North.

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But Reagan’s lack of supervision (perhaps) caused him a bit of strife.  And no,  I’m not taking sides here,  either.  Under supervised minions can get you into strife.

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Then there was Jimmy Carter.  Thought of by many as a “stupid peanut farmer” but in reality was a retired nuke sub commander. Carter’s management style was micromanaging everything, which is a good style for a nuke sub commander.

If you have ever had a micromanaging boss you know what I mean.

During the Iranian hostage crisis that plagued the last year(s) of his Presidency he decided to mount a rescue mission to free the hostages in the US Embassy in Iraq.

In all the secret preparations for the mission somehow the sand filters on the helicopters got left off. Flying a jet engine powered ‘copter at ground scraping altitude without the sand filters…  Well both ‘copters crashed within miles of starting the mission. Luckily there were no injuries but of course the mission failed and the Iraqis were now aware that a rescue mission had been attemped.

Now Carter may not have been been directly responsible for the cock up but then again,  it isn’t a good career move to second guess the Commander In Chief. 

This long discourse was to make one point.  Sometimes a President’s management style (POTUS is a manager) sometimes fails.  But the same style works in other areas. 

Getting back to Trump (I know,  finally) he may well be a bully but my question is Does America need a bully at this time?

Trump isn’t in office yet and he had to oppose fellow Republicans that were trying to dismantle the Ethics Committee.

So Donald tweets and the Republicans cease and desist.

If Trump had waited until after his inauguration the damage to the Ethics Committee may have been fatal.

In my opinion we may need a bully.  Someone who doesn’t cave when people complain about his cutting back on bloated entitlements that are bankrupting the country.

And complain they will when thier freebee gets cut

Trump is a deal maker.  A bully,  yes.  I’d agree.  But maybe a bully,  someone who can knock heads together to get things done,  is exactly what America needs.

And maybe,  subconsciously,  the electorate knew that

 

January 7th, 2017

So far (knock on formica)  I haven’t yet typed 2016 instead of the correct 2017, even in rough drafts! Of course now that I’ve bragged about it,  soon I’ll end up with the 2016 brain fart

The “No Gun Zone”  dilemma

There is a time & place for “No Gun Zones”.  In Courthouses,  Government buildings,  Bars & and Sports Events to name a few.

The idea of not allowing guns into a court where sometimes emotions get jacked up is easy to understand. But of course shootings don’t occur in courthouses because of metal detectors, police &  deputies everywhere.

Bars: does ANYONE think guns &  booze is smart?

And sporting events: excitement+booze+guns?

Trouble is,  shooters pick “Gun Free”  zones because maybe they are cowards or maybe they brook no competition from others with guns.  Who knows except that it seems to be a pattern.

Gun Free zones such as Ft Hood’s Deployment Staging Center where an Army Major playing jihadist killed,  what was it 13 unarmed soldiers?

Of course Obama called it “workplace violence” and screwed the soldiers out of Purple Hearts and the bennies of being killed or injured in an enemy action.

Or how about the Denver movie theater shooter? Another “gun free” zone.

Or recently Ft Lauderdale,  Florida.

All have the same thing in common – “Gun Free Zones”

The Army Major was doing presentations to his peers extolling the virtues of jihad and mind fucking his patients about how evil they were when they,  in the line of duty,  killed Muslims.

Major Hassan’s superiors in Ft Hood knew he was bent to jihad and did…  Nothing

The Denver shooter’s psychologist knew his patient was badly disturbed but also did nothing.

Then the last shooter,  Ft Lauderdale.  He went to the FBI telling them that he was hearing voices in his head telling him to join ISIS,  the Feebs sent him to a shrink,  then the airline had this loophole in security that you could drive a truck convoy through.  Nobody did ANYTHING to stop this shooting.

What I’m getting at is that in all three shootings three major things were present: failed or no security and the system letting us down

And “Gun Free Zones” 

Now,  getting the agencies and shrinks to toe the line and protect society from these mental killers with guns will take time and extensive changes in what happens now.

One thing that could be done IMMEDIATELY is passing a Federal law where anyone or any entity that wants to designate “Gun Free Zones” should be required to provide armed security to provide adequate protection from shooters who ignore posted signs.

From the theater owner who “feels”  that’s how it should be to airport management.

If they fail to provide protection after declaring a “Gun Free Zone” then violations of carrying guns by licensed Concealed Carry citizens in “Gun Free Zones”  should be null & void until said entity complies with the law.

I hope that Congress and President Trump will act to fix these “security free” zones,  A. K. A “Gun Free Zones” so that fellow Americans aren’t set up as easy targets.

 Thus ends my rant for the day

January 4rth, 2017

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Unruly passengers on commercial airlines

My suggestions of perhaps a different way of dealing with intoxicated,  hateful,  or other Unruly and dangerous passengers

Your settled into your seat,  calming drink in hand and some man starts yelling at Ivanka Trump about how her husband is going to ruin the country and how him riding in a plane with the b**** was completely unacceptable to him.

So,  the proscribed procedure goes into effect,  the man is restrained if necessary and…  Your flight is diverted so security or police can remove him.

Flight ends up delayed and you miss the connecting flight.

Why should a whole plane full of passengers get inconvenienced for one moron who doesn’t know how to behave.

My suggestion is,  have a small area that has straight jackets,  beds, a soundproof wall at the rear of the plane so it’s out of the way.  Where behavior challenged passengers who are too Unruly to stay on the plane can be restrained for everyone else’s safety and peace of mind.

Then,  at the destination security or police can remove the Unruly one.  After all the other passengers depart the plane.

I’m not sure of the legal aspects of this idea,   but airlines have a legal staff to work out the  liability issues.

One idea might be for a crewmember to videotape the Unruly passenger and how the crew dealt with them.

Don’t know if Tazers or other non-deadly weapons could be used.

Like I said,  either get the lawyers onto this or come up with something other that having a whole plane full of people inconvenienced and ripped off because the flight is delayed when it wasn’t really necessary

BTW,  no endorsement in any way is implied by the picture.  Just liked the red one best

January 2nd, 2017

38 years of mucking about with computers 

In 1974, while still in the US Marines I was exposed to computers for the first time.

MCTSSA (Marine Corps Tactical Systems Support Activity) was and still is the development & test branch that is responsible for new weapons and technologies for the future armed forces.

I was assigned right out of USMC boot camp to DTAS (Digital Transmission And Switching) to be a part of a test team to field test a computerized communication system that worked using already deployed military radios.

I could go on about DTAS, part of MCTSSA for a bit but the point is that’s where I was first exposed to computers.

For 3 years I was given a taste of working with computers,  modems & field testing 

After leaving the USMC in 1976 I found out about Byte magazine, the magazine for computer hobbiests.

In Byte I first encountered the concept of owning a home computer (Personal Computer)

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Then I encountered the concept of breadboarding/experimental computers.

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Originally the breadboarded computer was on the tables but owner’s cat knocked it off (evil creatures) but the computer still worked so owner left it hanging there. 

Then I saw,  in a Heathkit catalog this:

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And I bought it and put it together (it was a Heathkit)

The bottom case was the expansion kit that expanded the total RAM to 256k bytes,  had a cassette interface and a video interface + tiny basic for easier programming.

My first computer! 

In 1980 or so I went to a computer swapmeet,  bought the parts I needed for a clone IBM XT.  My first computer I could actually do something with (except experiment).

Since then I have had many computers: a 386,  486, a Pentium,  a Pentium II,  an AMD based IBM desktop, and then a gaming system that over the years was upgraded from a Pentium to an AMD dual core system with nVidia graphics

Then for several years I had some bad times,  quit gaming and eventually got a ZTE Android smartphone.

⏫ Which recently crapped out so I went to Radio Shack and now have a Boost Mobile Alcatel Dawn with an unlimited everything plan.

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Why mention my smartphone in a post about my history with computers?  A smartphone IS a computer that connects me to news,  social media,  Google & even my blog…

At this particular time in my life,  living in this cabin in Big Bear Lake,  California my phone, which is actually a 4-core computer,  let’s me enjoy the isolation but be in touch.  Even watch YouTube videos while watching the snow fall outside.

The wildest thing for me is being able to put so much anytime,  anywhere Internet connection technology in my pocket and have room for my sunglasses, too

January 1st, 2017

 First post of 2017. Was busy yesterday with some people who came up for the snow. 

These were friends of my landlord’s son who is welcome up here any time he wants.  He’s a snowboarder and he brought a half dozen  friends who were also snowboarders.  They got what they wanted.  When they arrived there was 18 to 24 inches of week-old snow and last night it snowed another 6 to 8 inches.  They they snowboarded yesterday evening in a run they had made in the front yard

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Today after breakfast they all went to the ski slopes for a bit of shredding the Gnar.  They came back hours later all sore & bruised &  happy.

For visitors they were all very nice and good company,  even though I’d never  met any of the except for my landlord’s son. 

December 30th, 2016 – Part 2

Just random thoughts by a random thought kind of guy

Hillary is done.  Her email server,  Benghazi,  health,  etc is all passé (means fossilized &  irrelevant).

She lost,  and unless we are really cursed won’t be back in 2020

Like she said in the Benghazi hearing : “What difference does it make?”

Next little pico-thought : Russia &  Hacking

Did Russia really hack all Hillary’s emails and give them to Wikileaks?  Julián Assange says no.  Said they came from a disgruntled Democrat Operative.

Who should I believe,  Putin who says no he &  Russia didn’t hack Hilary’s illegal server or Assange who has no dog in the fight and says a Democrat spilled the beans?

And that Putin, surprise surprise, seeing Obama throwing a tantrum says he’ll just wait until the grownups take over on January 20th

Going on… 

Obama still believes his signature will make great changes and give him a legacy he can be proud of.  Most of those changes are Executive Orders and if Trump’s hand holds out can be negated in a day.

Took the country 8 years but I think they have finally woke up

December 30th, 2016 – Part 1

This man is an example of an Undesirable illegal alien 🔽

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He was accused of raping a 13 year old girl on a Greyhound bus that was traveling through Kansas.  He has been deported 10 times and has voluntarily removed himself 9 times (meaning he was caught and willingly left the country).

19 times. An average of 1.4 times a year since 2003. Guess it wasn’t too hard to get back in

What’s to be done?  Will anyone argue with the fact that THIS is an Undesirable?

How about a real border barrier?  A wall + effective border policing?  Penalties for repeatedly illegally crossing that have teeth (no free bus rides home) ?

Let’s do SOMETHING to keep foreign Rock Spiders (child molesters) out of our country.

Raping a 13 year old is child molestation 

Think I’m racist because I’m against foreign illegal alien Rock Spiders molesting our children?

A man is defined by what he does

December 28th, 2016

3 days and 2016 is history…  And 22 days until Trump takes office

Thoughts on illegal immigration,  a moderate view

Trump said he wanted to deport ALL illegal aliens but not being a “Trumpista” I don’t agree.  There are illegal aliens that I really want to be rid of.

There are others that either don’t bother me or I’m actually friends with and definitely don’t want to see deported.

The UNdesirable illegal aliens are the gang bangers,  the criminals,  drug dealers and the child molesters. These are all types that choose to harm others and break laws.

“Sanctuary Cities” have the greatest concentration of Undesirable illegal aliens.

Take Los Angeles,  California for example.  The police are restricted by “Special Order 40” from questioning anyone about immigration status.  So the frustrated LA cops watch known gang bangers that they KNOW FOR A FACT have been deported and are back. SO 40 says they can’t do anything until they see a crime being committed,  but not the the obvious one of re-entering the country illegally.

The blanket “Sanctuary City” laws do not have any flexibility built in. All illegals are protected,  for good or bad.

Child molesters,  the lowest of the low,  mostly prey upon thier own race so protecting an illegal who is also a molester helps no one. Endangers Children! Even other illegals don’t want a “Rock Spider” (Aussie slang) for a neighbor.

Now for the rest of the illegal aliens

Can’t really call them desirable except for my friends who are illegal.

I believe that obeying laws goes along with having a good character. An illegal is already breaking one law so I have to say they already have one strike against them.

Say an illegal wants to drive a car and isn’t licensed. In California illegals can now get licensed.  Many fear getting put on a government list that may be used to find and deport.

My position is that an illegal because they can legally get a license either get the license or don’t drive.  Licensing is for protecting the public from incompetent drivers,  although many would say the DMV falls short. 

I don’t know if I’ve been clear but basically let’s focus on Weeding out the bad illegal aliens and not harass the decent illegals.  And there really are more decent illegals than Undesirables

On to another topic

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My phone’s browser,  Chrome automatically signs me in as owner of My Blog (Frank’s Blog) .  Only difference between what you and I see is this bar ⏫ at the top of my screen which gives me total access to the site.

Using WordPress just gets easier and easier.  You dont have to know ANYTHING about HTML or programming.  Get your own FREE Blog at

http://www.wordpress.com

December 26th, 2016 – Part 2

Fake news… 

I’ve heard about “fake news”,  a.k.a. Propaganda for many years but thought I was too wise to be fooled until a simple “fact”  I’d believed for 50+ years was exposed as untruth.

I’m talking about lemmings.  Those little white artic creatures that commit mass suicide by running off cliffs into the sea.

Untrue.  Disney did a show on it and fabricated the whole lemming suicide run. Looked spectacular for the camera but it was staged for the camera with people off camera chasing a bunch of the critters over a cliff.

I and many others believed what we saw,  after all, would Disney lie? 

Guess that would be a yes

This Presidential election has really brought the issue of fake news into focus.

I shared an article with someone and they objected because it was from a source they didn’t trust.  So I sent them the same article link from a different source that they felt was neutral.

I wasn’t offended because they had a healthy but polite skepticism

So,  how do we tell what’s fake and what’s not? 

If a source is found to be untrustworthy, makes bad judgment calls or jumps on a story without verifying it.

Like all the news outlets that carried the fake story about “Trumpists” surrounding a young woman and trying to tear off her hijab while chanting “Trump,  Trump,  trump”.  Never happened.  Young lady in question is facing a charge of a false report.

Did any of those media outlets print a retraction? No.

Fake news is a real problem and finding reliable sources may be a big challenge these next 4 years 

December 26th, 2016 – Part 1

For my first “post” post all kind of thoughts have been swirling about.  My present situation is that I’m snowed in, about 2 feet of snow,  in a cabin in Big Bear Lake, California

Have plenty of food,  Internet access and the cabin is well heated with all the all the things that make it a home.

So what to “rant” about.

Well, last night it got down to 3° Fahrenheit and it’s a bit hard for me to jump on the global warming/anthropogenic climate change bandwagon. If you talk to a Climate-ista they generally will pontificate at you and soon will dish out the name calling.  Telling me the present super cold weather is caused by global warming due to an “artic vortex”  sounds like BS to me.

I was recently told “you just never learn”  when I wasn’t impressed with the “fact” that a certain jellyfish was now common on the Atlantic coast.  I wasn’t aware that floating jellyfish could migrate,  just thought they went where the wind & currents pushed them.

I remember when in High School (40+ years ago) when scientists were telling us an Ice Age was in the future.

Trump won,  Hillary lost. ◀️ a true fact 

A big looming problem is the huge federal deficit.  To keep spending at the rate we are will be a disaster when the countries lending cut off the credit.  Hillary was planning to just continue what Obama was doing but doubling down on a couple of things.

Will Trump be an effective President?

I’m a bit impressed how he backed down Boeing about Air Force One.  Just a small thing but Boeing had never been questioned about AF One’s cost and then along comes Trump.

Then there was the Carrier jobs…

Trump has yet to be be Inaugurated and he is already on the job.

Will the next 4 years be easy street for Americans? Might be painful for those who view the Government as Santa Claus.  Some of us have grown up and know Santa Claus is a myth and government has no money it hasn’t taken from someone who earns it.

Going to be an interesting 4 years.

December 25th, 2016 – 8:18 am

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Snow report email came in


December 25th, 2016 – 8:10am

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Cold up in Big Bear Lake,  California on Christmas day

December 25th, 2016 – 4:00am

psx_20161224_143119Thought I’d start off my Blog’s renaissance by posting a picture of the 12-18 inches of snow that fell yesterday evening.

The WordPress people have improved their editors to work well with smart phones.  Now I can Blog with my Android phone anywhere at anytime.

 

December 25th, 2016 – 3:02am

Was reading an article about creating vs consuming and was looking for something to do that didn’t involve consuming.

Then I thought to myself “Self,  why not resurrect that Blog you have neglected for almost a year”  Last entry was about how Hillary Clinton was running for president (of the United States)

I need a forum for expressing myself but I promise to keep it clean.  I may have harsh things to say occasionally but I’ll save military – style expressions for private communication,  not up on a Blog for the world to read. I may *look* like a mountain man/redneck but I do have an education.fb-profile2016

Trump won. So I’d chronicle what I think and do a verbal walkabout and try not to be boring.

Saturday, February 6th, 2016

2nd post today…

Hillary Clinton is a contender for the Democratic party nomination

Really?  Mrs decepticon herself?

Latest “problem” she’s having is those emails on her personal (non-government) email server.  What’s the big problem? Security, that’s what the problem is.

Back 7 years when  Obama became president he wanted to keep his Blackberry,  which at the time was the best handheld communication device there was.

But the Secret Sevice said “No,  absolutely not”  because the servers that make a Blackberry such a great communication device are in Canada,  a friendly foreign government but still a Foreign government.

We don’t want enemies getting hold of our secrets.

The solution in Obama’s case was to set up a US owned Blackberry server.

So Hillary,  why the dribbling release of these emails that Federal law forbade you to send on a private email account?

Release them all now.  Unless of course there really is something to hide…

Saturday, February 6th, 2016

Today after a long time away I’m back to blog on…

Some how I’ve survived  and this April will start getting Social Security. That is *if* the Government doesn’t drop the ball.

To be fair the Government has made some progress,  like instead of the eternal holds waiting on the phones they now automatically will call you back when it’s your turn.

Lived in Lake Elsinore, CA for a while and now I’m temporarily living in my friend’s cabin in Big Bear, CA.  It’s quiet up here,  snow this time of year so it’s a bit rough but I love it. 6.8k foot altitude means air is  bit thin but it’s clean.

Now that I’ve figured ot how to update my blog from my phone (5 years ago who would have thunk) I’ll be getting back up on that soapbox this blog provides.

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday April 8th, 2014

Still alive.

My landlady is such a gracious person – has allowed me to stay here.

I’m not homeless but I’m down to my last $5 for food. Today I’m going without food.

At least I’ll be loosing weight. 

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Been watching a lot of video to escape. Watched all 4 seasons of Star Trek: Enterprise

plus saw all the ones of the other series I hadn’t seen

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Well, can’t think of anything else to say. 

 

 

Thursday March 27th, 2014

The Duck Dynasty Season Finale was an hour long, was good but it hurt.

Watching this family with all the fun and love they have made me sad

Mia Robertson, daughter of Willie and Korie Robertson has such a loving family

and extended family. She is such a delightful young girl in spite of her cleft lip

Her family threw her a family reunion party before she went in for her 5th operation,

in spite of the sudden notice was very well attended.

*************************************************************************

Me, not so much. I was frequently reminded by my father, who didn’t

like me, how worthless I was. When I turned 18 I immediately enlisted

in the Marine Corps. Was it hard? ’bout the same. Was used to being

despised from my father so having a Drill Instructor raging at me was…

not new.

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Will I ever be anything except the basket case I am now? Sometimes I think

God doesn’t like me either

 

Tuesday March 25th, 2014

Empty day. Really empty. Day after day with no hope.

And then I can’t even stay what course I decide on

If you want a peaceful existence, don’t become a Christian

God will never let you have peace as long as you are imperfect

Today I failed at staying away from pornography

**************************************************************

It’s a sad existence when all you have to look forward to is the

season finale of Duck Dynasty which is Tomorrow

 

 

Sunday March 23rd, 2014

I’ve decided that I would no longer go to the church that I once liked

I won’t name the denomination nor will I go on a long discussion of why

*****************************************************************

On a crazier note, the “Affordable” Care Act (Obamacare), will be increasing

medical code complexities, from the current 17,000 to 138,000 – 8 times more

Two of the codes: T63622A (Toxic effect of contact with other jellyfish,

intentional self-harm, initial encounter) and V9542XA (Forced landing of

spacecraft injuring occupant, initial encounter)

It’s what happens when a “Community Organizer” runs the country

*****************************************************************

Tonight is a head achy night. Don’t have money for both food and tea

so I’m doing without tea. Caffeine addiction isn’t to bad but withdrawals

are not fun.

*****************************************************************

Here is – 2016: Obama’s America, the movie by Dinesh D’Souza 

https://archive.org/details/ObamaBiography

It seems to connect a lot of the people in Obama’s past, like Bill

Ayres, Weatherman radical and the fact that Mr D’Souza has been

scrutinized heavily by the IRS and FBI leads me to believe that

the administration (Obama) wants him silenced

Wednesday March 19th, 2014

Today I had a new thought. I saw an obese woman crossing the street in one of those “sidewalk Cadillacs” – those motorized chairs for the disabled.

My normal, standard thought didn’t happen. I actually looked at the woman and saw she was very far from happy. That book I’d been reading, Shattering The Shackles Of Shame by Patricia Lee Hulsey, had informed me that that addictions were a very common thing in the shame-based personality. Addictions like alcohol, gambling (also gaming) and compulsive eating.

Now, don’t get me wrong: warm compassionate loving fuzzy  feelings didn’t happen.

After all this was merely a stranger crossing the street. What didn’t happen is I didn’t see her and instantly categorize her as an extreme case of welfare riding a fancy chair that my tax monies had bought.

What I saw was a woman who showed obvious signs of a shame-dominated personality. An unhappy person. Like me.

In Patricia Lee Hulsey’s book she said in the Introduction: “When I became a born-again Christian, I understood from that time on that Jesus died for my sins, but it was years later when I understood that He also died for my shame” 

She next says: “Since I no longer carried my sins, then I no longer needed to carry the shame of my sins or the shame imposed upon me by others”.

Patricia Lee Hulsey in her short book of 11 short chapters she lays out the reasons, the effects, and the cure for shame. She documents it well and says, for reason of her qualifications to write about shame: “Shame is not something I learned about through research. I didn’t read a book or go to a seminar on the subject. I agonized with its intensity when as a child I was told I was no good, stupid, and would never amount to anything”.

I’m not going to quote the entire book here. If you wish to read it for yourself here’s one last link: Shattering The Shackles Of Shame

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Another thought I had this morning was that all this stuff I was going through would be good for writing a book. Even thought up a name “Escape from Laodicea” (Revelation 3:14-22)

I’m not ready to write it yet. Haven’t yet  “escaped”, still within the city limits. But I’m making progress

Sunday, March 16th, 2014 Shattering The Shackles Of Shame

Tonight I’m studying this: Shattering The Shackles Of Shame

I still have shelter, although that could end anytime.

This morning I went to church. At 5PM went to the Sunday night bible study. Didn’t feel any better even though it was good both times – I just don’t fit in a church

Shattering The Shackles Of Shame was right about me – I don’t get let anyone get close enough to hurt me, or to know me.

When I was growing up I remember my father only once saying something even moderately complementary, but I can’t remember what he said. Everything else, including things he said about me to extended family members were to shame me.

I have $43 after I CoinStar-ed the rest of my change, after buying two Frozen dinners + one bag frozen burritos.

Friday, March 14th, 2014 8:41PM

Since the wee hours of this morning (other Mar 14th post) I slept fitfully, got up, showered, went to Food4Less and used the CoinStar machine (broke it),  got $25.10 in pennies, nickles and dimes, went to Carl’s Jr and got two sausage egg & cheese biscuits and ate breakfast.

While eating breakfast had my one and only realization of the day. The place I live in is really good. Everything works, roommates are good, neighborhood quiet and safe.

Better than the seven years I spent living in a room where the roof leaked when it rained hard. Then it leaked with light rain. Then it fell in. I declined from suing as these were Christian people  who had been very generous to the Homeless Program I’d been in

Also better than the 3 months (looooong months) spent living with a High School Teacher who would find 1 ant on his counter, call me down and chew me out. He was lucky *I* am a Christian and won’t start fights.

I also realized that I didn’t appreciate where I’m living, didn’t appreciate the almost 2 years of unemployment, and didn’t appreciate the 10K (7K after tax penalty) that kept me alive since then

After breakfast I rode south, then east a bit, then northish a bit, then west with a jog north, then home (west then south)

23 mile – used Google maps to plot out the distances.

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Hadn’t been here in 3 years

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This was a surprise. Original archery range was frames holding hay bales and some cryptic cement markers in ground – nothing like this

Stopped by several places, rode the Santa Ana river trail back, stopped at Centennial park

Got a LOT of sun – face is sunburnt. Was surprised that I did that in my out of shape, mal-nourished condition.

Well, perhaps I can get some sleep tonight…

Friday, March 14th, 2014 12:49AM

Tomorrow there’s a couple of things I need to do.

I need money for some food. Have a large container of change and tomorrow I’ll take it to a nifty machine called a CoinStar  machine and let it sort the coins and count ’em. Will cost me 10.9% but it’s easier that the old coin rolls and then take them to a bank

Other is take a ride down the Santa Ana river (if I feel good enough). Need to do some serious thinking and see some of God’s beauty. Take pictures (maybe)

Yesterday afternoon I poked around a bit in on-line gaming but I have really lost interest.

All evening I spend reading about when god is silent. Before I go to bed I’m going to re-read the bible book of Job

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

Still feel completely unmotivated. There seems to be no earthly hope in anything ever getting better for me.

I’m so unmotivated that I didn’t even go get food, even though I have the means – So I had two burritos and a piece of bread all day

I realize now what a cold, uncaring person I am. I am so dead in my heart, my feelings. I don’t want to be around anyone, even people at church.

Stay clear of pornography. It fills the heart with a deadness towards real people, like my family

Friday rent is due –

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